Check this out!!!  Ashra is spectacular:)

Love Spells by Ashra

I’m trying to do homework, flipping channels and land on national geographic…this show “Tribal Secrets” is showing customs from the Dinka tribe in Sudan. According to tradition, daughters are given to a man in marriage based on the number of cows the man gives to the woman’s family.  Go figure…their divorce rate is probably way lower than ours!

I have a friend…young, single mom of 2 little kids…divorced about 4 years ago from this crazy, abusive man. My friend works full time, but unfortunately isn’t far up the corporate ladder so she makes squat for an income, and she’s taking internet classes to complete her degree (she had to quit college because of the asshole ex-hubby). Having small kids, daycare is a huge issue for her. For about 7 months, she’s had state assistance to pay this daycare, but recently her deadbeat ex started routinely paying child support. Now she’s lost her state assistance for daycare, which is now going to be $900 a month!!! And of course she doesn’t qualify for any other type of state benefits either. Can you imagine?! A single parent, trying to provide for her children, and better herself to provide a better situation for her kids, and she’s faced with the dilemma of how to pay for daycare so she can work. She did some budgeting and came to this conclusion: it’s more economical for her to quit a fantastic job with a great company and go on welfare until she finishes school.

There is something seriously wrong with this situation…maybe the problem is in our state government…if a person has more money on welfare than working full time, don’t ya think?!

Only at Wal-Mart…or maybe it’s only in Arkansas-LOL

WAL-MART APPLICATION

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas.  They hired him because he was so funny……

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who
will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I were in a position to be picky, would I be applying here in the first place?

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION:

Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job –no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE ….7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

***Old People Rock! ***

Hi all:) Went to the gun show Saturday….we saw a lot of this new weapon called jewelry…good grief people, it’s a GUN show, how is jewelry related to guns? I can see books on firearms, and anything related to firearms, even personal safety…but jewelry?? I guess Expo NM makes a little money off of jewelry booth rentals so what do they care-LOL

My favorite item at the gun show was a sticker that read: “It takes 43 muscles to frown, 26 muscles to smile, but only 3 for proper trigger pull.” Ha!!